American Expat in London

For the record, I’ve lived in a city that is infamous for the amount of rain that it receives. Seattle is perceived as the rainiest city ever. No way. This spring and summer in London puts any Seattle winter to shame. Just check this article in The Guardian if you don’t believe me: http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jul/08/summer-unending-rain?INTCMP=SRCH.

Bollocks.

There are times here when I wonder if the 80s station is actually tapped into my music collection: Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths, then Wham’s I’m Your Man, Cher’s If I Could Turn Back Time, finishing with Beat Surrender by The Jam.

Stop reading my mind, Absolute 80’s!

As previously discussed, I’m a pub guy.  Hand pumped ales, extra cold lagers, ciders and alcoholic ginger beer on ice.  These beverages are the reason I exercise.  Otherwise, I’d be the Pillsbury doughboy.  And while there is a perception that British drinking is purely based on binge drinking and hooliganism, the heart of a neighborhood is still the local pub.  Granted, with my history of working as a bartender and restaurant manager behind me, I am a bit biased. But, I stand behind the pure hospitality and warm, congenial atmosphere created by great pub owners.  A former boss and mentor of mine, John Grzywa, taught me the fundamental tenets of neighborhood pub culture when he gave me my first bar job.  The feeling that Sports Brewpub gave me as both a patron and an employee gave me a sense of family and community that has carried with me throughout my entire career and life. I look for that sense of community in any place I like to frequent.  It makes for an overall better experience.

My local is The Victoria – a stone’s throw from Hyde Park, a Fullers Pub, housed in a Regency building from the 1840’s and located in a small commercial corner off of Hyde Park Gardens, across from one of the best Indian restaurants in West London – (but more on that later).  I’ve been here for a little less than five months but, I’ve found a place where “everybody knows your name”. On my first visit, I spent a Sunday afternoon reading the papers, eating Sunday roast, drinking my weight in Crabbie’s Ginger Beer and getting to know the motley cast of characters who work and attend this lively establishment.  I was hooked by the genuine smiles, the intellectual conversation and the true heart and soul that these folks put into what they do.  Instead of staying for the 30-45 minutes that it would have taken to eat my Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding, I spent four hours there. And, I return often. I’m not a daily regular, but, I’m probably there at least once a week.  In fact, tonight is their pub quiz – which my flatmate, Andy and I hope to win, but, we probably won’t.  It’s really hard.

But, I digress. The local pub is a necessary part of British community culture.  My local pub makes me happy, well fed and nourished in ways that span the food and drink that they serve. These are places that make me feel like I’m less of an outsider, that I don’t have to be isolated and that there is life outside my apartment.  All the reason to go, no?

Hi, folks.

I’m back from my unintentional sabbatical.  The past seven weeks included trips to four cities on two continents, a lot of visiting and alone time, some sport, some play, a LOT of work, a lot of joy and some heartbreak.  All of which will make it into my writing at some time, but, right now a lot of it is best kept internally. There are some serious “What the fuck was I thinking?”moments in there, so, there is a lot of personal growth going on?

So, how is expat life so far at the five month mark?

As I sit here on the 9:00am First Great Western service to Bristol Temple Meads, calling at Reading (where I am disembarking the train for work), things are relatively predictable yet still awkward.  I don’t really feel like I am in a standard routine.  Which for a guy who is borderline OCD, that can be a very dangerous place indeed.  I mean, most of that is my own doing, as I did choose to spend three and a half weeks out of the past seven in Asia and the US.  But, I somehow thought that it would be a little easier getting into the swing of things.

But, as my firepluggy Italian friend Mario would say – “Honey, you’re human.  Give yourself some credit.  You moved 5000 miles away.  You’re single, smart and sexy in one of the world’s greatest cities. Enjoy it, have some fun and go fuck everything that moves. Now, how about some Carbonara?”

Mario always has the best advice.

Anyway, I digress…

Things I’ve learned or relearned while being here in London:

1. I am a pub or wine bar kind of guy, not a major clubber. – Barring the days when I used to go to Sensations or B’zar in East Lansing at the ages of 19-23, I’m just not a dance club sort of fella.  First of all, I think I’m going a little deaf like my father and it becomes absolutely impossible to talk with anyone in a club that plays a bunch of “Nnnn-tch, nnn-tch, nnn-tch, nnn-tch….” type of music.  However, give me a retro ’80’s night or some Motown B-side soul and I’m on it.  Don’t expect the latest review of Fire or Hustlaball here.  I’m just not down for it.

2. Rainy days equal museums for me. – When I was a kid, my mom and her best friend Susan would take my sisters and I and Susan’s kids to the Detroit Institute of Arts.  We’d spend time in the exhibits, but, we’d also climb up and down the secret spiral staircase, run up and down the rainbow tunnel, and have lunch in the enclosed Kresge Courtyard, surrounded by ancient and significant pieces of cultural works.  Granted, this would happen mostly on days where it was raining or ungodly hot; but, at a young age, I became a museophile.  And, frankly on a rainy day, I’d rather walk around inside a cultural icon like the Victoria and Albert Museum then sit at home on the couch watching Jersey Shore or thirtysomething reruns.

3. Doing nothing is hard in a city like London. – There is so. much. to. fucking. do.  As a person who thrives on new experiences and overstimulation, I want to do everything.  And, in some senses, I push myself to try to do just that.  However, there are times where you need to rest and recharge and I find myself skipping those times too much, to the point where it catches up to me big time.

4. England is gorgeous in the spring. – My allergies may not think so, but, this is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been at this time of year, ranking right up there with Seattle and Buenos Aires. The lush spring greens, the blooming lavender; the sea of ferns and leafy ground cover make this place an absolute pleasure to enjoy.

5. I miss driving, Hot Mama’s pizza, White Castle cheeseburgers, brunch at the 5 Spot, homemade and fresh Pho, affordable sushi, Zingerman’s Oswald’s Mile High sandwich, tumble dryers, the sight of Mount Rainier over Lake Washington, the smell of a freshly resurfaced sheet of ice before a hockey game, Target, sand beaches on fresh lake water, kayaking down the Huron River, BD’s Mongolian BBQ, Downy Fabric Softener, Seattle Quake Rugby and my dog, Zac – may he rest in peace.

More to come later, as there’s so much to publish.

I think I want to hit each and every one of these as well.

10 of the best pubs in London | Travel | guardian.co.uk.

I want to hit each and every one of these this summer.

Summer pub gardens | Life and style | The Guardian.

I know I’m stating something that many other people already know, a former employer told me one that you could get a high paying job for stating the obvious, but in many large cities there is a publication called TimeOut that lists many of the different cultural things to do in that city for the week.  TimeOut London is fantastic and can help you filter through the overstimulation of activities in such a large metropolitan area.  They include a hotlist of activities from which you can choose, including multiple different categories, including art, theatre, live music, cinema, restaurant reviews, lectures and community oriented events.

For those of you visiting as tourists, there are travel guides for each city that are refreshing in tone and real in their candor.  Written by locals for locals, you get a realistic picture of what you can do while you are in that city to experience the city just like a local.  If you want a less touristy, more authentic city experience, then TimeOut guides are for you. Otherwise, stick to Frommers and end up in the same 20 restaurants and sights that everyone and their brother has attended.  TimeOut also publishes a very open and frank Gay and Lesbian Guide for London that speaks to all of the different scenes that one could possibly want.  Clubs, pubs, the underbelly, it’s all there.

Check their worldwide site here.

One of the things that people don’t necessarily discuss with relocation and international expatriation is the mixed emotions that come along with picking your life up and dropping it into a completely unfamiliar culture.  There is the excitement of new places, people, jobs and things to do but the sense of latent grief in the not so subtle mourning of the friends, activities and routines that you have left behind.  In my experience, it took me about four months to get to the point where the novelty of my new living situation has worn off.  The lack of novelty does not make the overall experience any less wonderful, but, it does force me to realize that everyone’s lives continue, including my own – making the new reality that much more poignant.

London is a wonderful city, vibrating with possibility, creative in its nature, and practically teeming with choices of things to do and people to meet. However, there becomes a time when the most mundane things that one could rely on are the things that you miss – the dry cleaner who knows your name and asks about your travel; the Sunday morning routine of brunch at your favourite restaurant, the paper and people watching; the sports matches and meetings of your favourite team and club; running into a friend that you haven’t seen in a while in the most random of places and the familiar faces and things, even at the grocery store.  These are the things that you end up missing the most, even on a subconscious level.

All the new choices in things to make part of a routine can be overwhelming, not necessarily in a tragic and melodramatic way, but, in a realistic “Really?” sort of way.  Sometimes, I still feel disconnected and a bit isolated from the reality of my own existence because nothing seems repeatable or predictable.  Everything is a new experience, and while thrilling most of the time, sometimes it just gets old. There are times that the human condition needs that sense of the familiar in the face of novelty, the sense of belonging in the face of potential isolation and the sense of community while not sacrificing the individual achievement that got you there.

Anyway, I know it can sound like I am bemoaning the wonderful and great things that I’ve worked so hard to earn.  The expat experience is a great and wonderful and a exciting adventure. Though, in every adventure, there are times that it can feel like more work than fun. Putting myself out there to be open to the magic of new friendships, experiences and places is the only way I can see myself getting through this.

And, this too shall pass.  And now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go make myself some homemade macaroni and cheese and watch bad American television until I feel a little less disconnected.

Don’t judge me.

Beatrice and Eugenie return to the Royal Wedding milliner for more eye-catching creations | Mail Online.

Say whatever you want, I think the hat that Princess Beatrice wore to the wedding is absolutely brilliant.  I want one for myself.

Courtesy of the Daily Mail