Take the cannoli

I was raised on Italian-American food.  For as long as I can remember, Peppina’s, Frankie’s and Clemente’s were all part of the “out-to-eat”oeuvre of my parents and grandparents.  Frankie’s in Ecorse, MI was for pizza after hockey games or when my grandfather wanted pizza.  Clemente’s was for spaghetti with meat sauce or ravioli.  And, my favorite of them all and the closest to my house was Peppina’s – for chicken soup with home made egg noodles, veal parmigiana, and pizza with a cornmeal crust, real mozzarella and spicy little pepperoni.  Rome was my first international trip that I ever took and I fell in love with the idea of expatriate life when my sister lived in Rome for a year.  So, it is a bit ironic, or serendipitous that my first friend that I made here in London is Italian.

My friend Mario knows how to eat, which is strange because he’s 5’7″of pure unadulterated muscle.  He’s my age and from Southern Italy and made me homemade penne carbonara the first time I came to visit him.  It was pure unadulterated food bliss.  Toothy pasta, the combination of bacon, egg, cheese and a little olive oil is one of God’s chosen foods.  He writes a blog, of which I follow religiously and has a wicked sense of humor, which I share and find myself laughing out loud at inopportune and inappropriate times.  I’m so glad to know him.

Not the least of which is because he took me to two places that were fantastic – and both Italian.  We met for pizza one night at Pulcinella in Soho.  Soho is not really known for culinary genius, but there are a few places that you can find that will knock your socks off.  Pulcinella is one of those.  Homemade buffalo mozzarella, and hand tossed pizzas that are inexpensive, tasty and totally authentic.  Mario’s first words to me in the restaurant were “Don’t order pasta in places like this, they cook it ahead of time and reheat. If you’re going to eat pasta, eat it at home.” He’s absolutely right, most kitchens in London do not have the space to cook pasta to order, even if it is homemade.

The pizza was absolutely perfect, crisp 10″crust, just brown enough around the edges to get some tooth, melted creamy cheese and spicy peppered salami, all together on my plate.  I took my first bite using knife and fork, and was quickly admonished and shown how to eat a personal pizza (note to self and others – cut a triangular piece, like a pie. fold, eat).  This was after Mario’s shock at a person from another table ordered the Hawaiian pizza, he said, “Fruit on pizza, my grandmother would pass out.”

We eavesdropped on the conversation at the next table, which was an awkward double date.  The members of each of the couples were making general conversation about nothing of importance, while seeming completely uncomfortable with the whole evening.  It made us really uncomfortable, because it seemed like each of them were talking and no one was listening to each other.  It was more of a list of non-sequitirs than a conversation. We left and then Mario took me to nirvana: Princi, an Italian bakery/delicatessen/hot table restaurant.

Princi is ALWAYS packed, there are a bunch of tables, and a bar area around the restaurant.  It’s huge, given Soho restaurant size standards with fresh baked breads, pastries, flat bread pizzas, salads and hot items.  What absolutely sent me over the edge were the cannoli.  Now, I have loved cannoli since I was a child.  The old Italian ladies would make them from scratch at Peppina’s.  And, what’s not to like?  A baked pastry tube filled with marscapone cheese, chocolate shavings, a little flavoring and sugar with coatings on the ends to make them even better.  Peppina’s used to have pistachios on the ends (which I hated and would scrape off), but Princi has something blissful: candied orange peel.

It was like heaven on a plate.  If I lived closer, I would have one every day.  The crisp pastry melts in your mouth, and then the creamy marscapone with the dark chocolate coats your mouth as you bite into the bracingly  tart orange peel which counteracts the richness and sweetness of the filling.  As Mario says, “you should definitely get one to go, but it probably won’t make it home.” He’s right.  I would devour it on the sidewalk without even a blink.

Visit both of these places if you make it to Soho.

Change here for National Rail

All I can say is “Ugh.” 

One of the big things I love and hate about my experience over here is my commute from Paddington to Reading via train.  I love it because I do not have the stress of driving for over an hour from Central London to Reading. Even though it is the reverse of the flow of traffic, the commute would make me lose my mind a few times. 

Enter the First Great Western service from Paddington to Reading Central. It is completely a commuter rail from London to points west, such as Bristol Temple Meads, Oxford, Bath Spa and Bournemouth.  Reading is usually the first stop on all of the long range trains with one or two trains per hour stopping at intermediate stations like Slough, Maidenhead, and Windsor.  As most people who know me can attest, I am the opposite of a morning person.  I’m a combination between Dagwood Bumstead from the Blondie comics and movies, Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets and a fire-breathing dragon.  Some people that used to work for me would never talk to me before ten.  And, I don’t blame them.

Anyway, paying attention to signs is important and Reading is Fundamental.  This morning, I did neither. I quickly scanned the board for the next fast train to Reading, and according to the sign it was leaving from Platform 9.  Well, Platforms 9 and 10 at Paddington are under construction and not well marked.  I got to the platforms and asked the attendant “is this the train to Reading?” She said, ‘yes it is’, and I proceeded to board the train.  Problem was, I boarded the train on Platform 10, and it was the slow train to Reading.  Which takes DOUBLE THE TIME! By the time I figured it out, we were already on our way. 

Shit.

As we approached Slough, which happens to be renowned around the UK as the place that should be completely bulldozed and rebuilt, I realized that I was now going to be 20 minutes late for my meeting at 9am, even though I left at 740. 

God damn it.

Now, I am completely cursing myself as I approach the next three stops on the line. I guess it is now time to pay attention or up the caffeine content in my day – and no one wants me caffienated.  Commuting is not rocket science, but it requires a certain level of consciousness.

So – moral of the story, get a god damned timetable at http://nationalrail.co.uk and read the lit signs before I get on the train.  Or you, as the case may be.

Alright, I gave in to Twitter

I’ve never really understood the instant gratification of Twitter, but, I joined anyway.  If you want to follow me, I’m @usexpatinlondon.  Whoopie!

A hooligan’s sport played by gentlemen

Match Day

I’ve been in town a month today and it surprises me that is the first time that I am writing about this.

Rugby. A distinctly British sport, founded at the Rugby School in 1823.  One that I have played for the past five years. One that has brought me tremendous joy.  One that introduced me to some of my best friends in the world who I love absolutely and ferociously.  One that represents a culture of rugged athleticism, brotherhood, binge drinking, celebration and bawdy revelry with traditional songs, humor and purity of spirit.

Today I visited Twickenham, the spiritual and competitive home of English Rugby for the first time to see the Sale Sharks play the London Harlequins, as a guest of Ben Cohen.

Gay Icon and all around great man

Ben is a gifted professional rugby player happens to be dashingly handsome as well as a gay icon due to his commitment to tolerance and eliminating homophobia in sport, while being one of the most visible straight allies in the gay community.  He has done public service announcements and consistently walks the walk and talks the talk. Today also was the first union match for the second half of the season for my club, the club I led for the better part of the past three years, the Seattle Quake RFC.  The Quake was tied for second place going into today’s match and it made me pretty emotional to be five thousand miles away.  But more on Ben and the Quake’s match later…..

Twickenham is a village dedicated to rugby.  It is where the English international team plays, in a massive 82,000 seat stadium, as well as the London Harlequins Premiership pitch called the Stoop, an intimate pitch which seats 14,000. The fans are extremely dedicated, even down to the restaurants – with garden gnomes dressed in international rugby shirts in the windows.

South African Rugby Gnome

The weather was a beautiful day for rugby – chilly, misty, rainy – it makes the pitch softer when you get tackled, and it introduces a level of unpredicatbility into the play that makes for a more interesting match.  Rugby can be a brutal game, but is thrilling to watch and breathtaking to play.  Fifteen people on a muddy pitch of grass, relying on each other, their talent and grit to get the ball across the try line.  It is two halves of mostly non-stop action, with rules that are hard to learn at first, but basically boil down to a few key principles: stay behind the ball, do not pass forward and rely on your brothers to help you and the other fourteen of you on the pitch to get the ball across the line.  Yeah, yeah, there are penalties, conditions and rules of scrummage that you can learn on your own time. But, all you need to know is the heart and soul that breathes through the entire team.  On or off that field, you will do anything for them. It is what makes this game a sport, and turns boys into men, and men into athletes.

Seattle Quake at Bingham 2010

Given that, there are a couple things that make the Quake and others like them about more than rugby.  The Seattle Quake is a primarily gay team, started nine years ago in the spirit of Mark Bingham – killed in United 93 on September 11, of which the Bingham Cup gay rugby world championship is named.  The Quake stands for bringing rugby to underrepresented people in the sport – gay men and people of color – while being extremely competitive, community leaders and exceptionally open, showing that sexual orientation is a non-issue in sport.  Some of the most spirited about the issues of gay rights are the straight ally members of the club, bringing their children to events like Pride Marches, Fundraisers and team barbecues to teach them the values of tolerance and the importance of eliminating homophobia in sport, not just at the adult level, but in the schools as well.  The Seattle Quake also puts on the North American gay rugby championship in odd numbered years called Magnitude 15’s, a tournament I helped run in 2007 and hosted as President in 2009.   The next one is May 27-30, 2011.

Ben on the pitch at #11

Ben Cohen is coming to Seattle this year as a special guest of the Quake to Magnitude 15.11, hosted this year at Seattle’s Magnuson Park, home pitch of the Quake and one of only a few tournament rugby pitches in the state of Washington. Ben is in the process of starting a foundation that is dedicated to eliminating homophobia in youth, amateur and professional sports and has been recognized by GLSEN and one of their All-Stars, a program designed to recognize straight allies.  He happens to be the first international figure that they recognized due to his commitment to tolerance.  I met Ben in Manchester two weeks ago and I will sound like a total fan boy in my comments about him.  Ben is the athlete that every gay kid who was bullied in school wished would stand up for them.  He is a dedicated dad of twin girls, genuinely interested in everyone he meets, and exudes leadership quality from the words that come out of his mouth to his presence on the pitch and in any setting.  The depth of the conversation that we had about homophobia in sport and his commitment is beyond admirable, and extremely welcome.

Me actually playing

Growing up, I had no gay athletic role models.  The stereotypes of gay people in 1970’s America were represented in popular culture by the celebrity images of Paul Lynde, Liberace and Charles Nelson Reilly – tarted up, self hating queens that would never have been caught dead playing a sport.  Those stereotypes were just as fake then as they are they are today, as none of those things truly reflected on the men that they were.  I was a gay kid who played hockey and figure skated (ok, yeah – huge stereotype there), but I was brought up with athletic ideals and the dichotomy did not make sense to me.  Why were there no adults who were like me who played sports?  Was it bad to be gay?  It took me years to reconcile my self image with the fact that I could be gay and an athlete and a leader in my communities AND be successful at it.  No child should ever have to go through that type of psychological chaos without the love and support of everyone around them. Ben Cohen and others like him show that it is possible to be extremely talented, while being very grounded and exceeding the expectations of the overall athletic ideals that my coaches taught me.  I am honored to know him.

Anyway, without rugby and the Quake, I would not be here on this wonderful experience in London.  The Quake and rugby have made me a better man, a better leader and a better person – one with a set of ideals and integrity that will make me successful in all that I do.  I can hardly contain myself for the Magnitude tournament in May, when so many powerful teams that support tolerance and bust stereotypes meet a very visible straight ally, fighting for their rights alongside them.

By the way, the Quake A side won their match today – 27-15, moving into an uncontested position at second place in the Pacific Northwest Rugby Union.  I could not be more pleased.

Sky Movies Classics HD

The Sky HD service is installed and I already have a favorite station, not the least of which is because I am a classic movie fanatic – as is my flatmate, Andy.  Side note, with the Oscars coming up this Sunday night, he and I were talking about Westerns and got on the subject of the unintentionally lesbian camp film – Johnny Guitar with Joan Crawford, Mercedes McCambridge and Sterling Hayden and a whole host of other rough and tumble men. None of which had the balls of Joan Crawford, but, who did, really?

Anyway, Sky Movies Classics HD had Johnny Guitar on the other night after he and I had the conversation about the movie. I thought it was a bit weird, but, I started to get hooked.  Love with a Proper Stranger with Steve McQueen and Natalie Wood; Bedknobs and Broomsticks with Angela Lansbury, The Sound of Music, the Judy Garland A Star is Born, Rebel Without a Cause and Spartacus.  I think the selection team at this channel must be made up of gay men between the ages of 40 and 50, with a soft spot for musicals, Natalie Wood, Steve McQueen and gay icons.  I half expect Cher or Liza to be hosting one of the shows in between.

In any sense, the movie channel is pure gold, with most of these films in 4:3 format with the original or restored color and quality.  Lately with all of what has been going on, I have not had a lot of time to watch, but, this will be the staple in the background when I work from home or just want to sleep quietly on the sofa.

Zen and the Art of Underground Maintenance

Something you get used to pretty quickly here in London is the predictably unpredictable nature of public transportation here.   In the case of trains, there is the London Underground, the London Overground and National Rail – all of which are connected some ways, and in others could not be farther apart.  I have a romantic love for parts of the London Underground.  I would marry the Piccadilly line if I could, even though I do not live anywhere near close to that line.  However, the pace at which there are mass closures and upgrades makes one’s head spin in ways that you can’t imagine.

The London Underground, or the Tube as it is affectionately known, is one of the marvels of modern transportation engineering.  Started as the Metropolitan Railway in the 1840’s, it was designed as a way to funnel people quickly through the narrow streets of London, underground and in a relatively predictable manner.  There was a major run on developing many different lines through the city, none of which really had any organized way of urban planning or overall design.  This resulted in some of the haphazard lines running in strange ways with no rhyme, reason or linkages to each other.  Originally, the train stock was steam, with a later conversion to electric trains around the turn of the century.  The electrification allowed for more capacity and overall focus on service delivery. I could write multiple entries on the Underground alone, and most likely will at a later date.

There has been a lot of focus on improvement of the reliability of the equipment of most of the lines, stations and trains with the Olympics happening here in Summer 2012.  There are specific lines that need work or are never predictably reliable.  Specifically, the Hammersmith and City line and the Jubilee line are two lines that go down like a two dollar hooker.  Ironically, they are the oldest and newest train stocks, respectively, in the entire network.  (I do not count the Waterloo and City line, as I think it has been operational once in the past five years). Interestingly, what tube stop that you live near can make your life easier, or harder as the case may be.  If you move here, what zone you live in impacts how quickly you can get to and from the central city or what resources you may have at your disposal in a quick fashion.

In a nutshell, here’s a description of the lines in Central London which may be helpful if you travel here.

Bakerloo line – Short for Baker Street to Waterloo, which were the examples of its original termination points.  It is almost always reliable and runs from south of the river at Elephant and Castle up to some northern suburbs.  One of the unfortunate things about the Bakerloo line is that it has some of the loudest trains, especially when they put on the brakes.  It’s a bit maddening, sort of like nails on a chalkboard for three straight minutes while coming into a station.

Central Line – The Central line runs, you guessed it, right through central London, mostly under Bayswater Road, Oxford Street and New Oxford Street and then out to the distant eastern and western suburbs. This one is the closest to my flat, gets me from the West End or to Notting Hill Gate or Holland Park to my flat in about 10 minutes.  I never have issues on the Central line other than overcrowding on a morning rush hour.  Most of their deep level stations are decorated with the original white subway tile from the 1890’s.

Circle Line – The Circle line used to actually run in a circle, but now, the route looks like a backwards number nine.  It was actually nice before that it would go in a circle.  Now, you have to change at Paddington or Edgware Road to switch to the other train that will take you in a circular direction.  Most of these stations are above ground or with high retaining walls, shared with the District line and the Hammersmith and City line.  It basically makes a big circle around Central London, hitting most of the major National Rail stations like Victoria, Paddington, Euston and King’s Cross St. Pancras.  Unfortunately, this is one of the most popular tourist and commuter lines and is usually consistently busy.  Also, the Circle Line is one of the most unreliable and uncomfortable.  I usually avoid it if I can.

District Line – The District Line is less of a line than it is an octopus.  There are arms of the District Line that go all over the western, central and eastern parts of Metropolitan London.  If you so chose, you could go from Wimbledon in the south west, through Earl’s Court out to Upminster in the far northeast.  The District line shares tracks and train stock with the Hammersmith and City line and the Circle Line, so, you could be in for a treat of unbearable delays based on the color of your shirt or a change in the weather.  It is very convenient when it is up, however.

Hammersmith and Shitty Line – No, that is exactly what it is.  Old trains, never reliable and closed almost every weekend for refurbishment.  One would think that I would  like it because it is colored pink on the map.  But, sadly, no.  Avoid this line at all costs, unless you have to take the Metropolitan line which is also unbearable.  Problem is, that these lines represent the northern cross London east-west route.  You’re pretty much screwed if you live by Farringdon or Barbican.   Walk to a Central Line station if you can.

Jubilee Line – Ah, the young upstart that is pretty much run in an automated way.  I know it sounds rather Jetsons-ish, but, on the contrary.  Though the Jubilee line has been in place since 1979, and has the newest equipment, the Jubilee line has signal failures, coordination failures and equipment failures more often than my 1976 Ford LTD did in High School. When it works, it is very convenient, fast and clean and can get you to Canary Wharf in minutes from Central London.  It is also one of the lines that will run out to the Olympic park in Stratford in Summer 2012.

Metropolitan Line – The Metropolitan Line seems more like a suburban railway than an underground line, as most of the stations are above ground. The cars seem more like a rundown railway, with very old trains than a tube line that seems.  It does not go to many places that I go, so, I seldom take it.  If you want to go to some places that are very far out from central London, the Metropolitan Line will take you there.

Northern Line – The Northern Line seems like it should be two separate lines – one via Bank and one via Charing Cross Station.  It almost looks like a braided chain on the map.  It goes north/south from the south side of the river up through the City and Central London.  It’s a great way to get to places on the south side of the river, since I have friends who live in Clapham.  Usually, there are few issues, however, changing at some stations can be challenging due to how deep the tunnels are.

Piccadilly Line – My favorite line goes from Heathrow and Uxbridge to Cockfosters.  Any place called Cockfosters is up there in my book, both because I have the sense of humor of a ten year old boy, and I’m gay.  It sounds like the name of an Australian Bathhouse and Beer Bar.  Joking aside, it provides a cheap way to get from Heathrow Airport to many places in Central London.  It stops at some significant tourist destinations like Piccadilly Circus, Hyde Park Corner, Harrods, and King’s Cross/St. Pancras.  The line seems to be the one that has very few problems when you hear “There is a good service on the Piccadilly Line.” You hardly hear that it’s not working.  There are also some architecturally significant designed stations by Charles Holden on the Piccadilly Line, given that there was some major growth on the line in the suburbs in the 1930’s.  Some of the stations, like Southgate, Arnos Grove and Sudbury Town are excellent examples of quality, clean lines and Art Deco combined with Arts and Crafts.  I’ll most likely do a separate blog entry about that architecture as I go tour those stations.

Victoria Line – The Victoria Line was the first automated railway in the world, and the first deep line tunnel underground line in 60 years when it opened.  It works pretty consistently and makes a solid loop from the south side of the river to Walthamstow Central at the north.  At parts of it, it forms an express line that runs similarly to the Bakerloo line, for commuters going from Baker Street to Victoria.

Waterloo and City Line – I am not going to rant about this one, but, here’s a little story.  I visited London around twelve times over the past five years prior to moving here. In those five years, I never once saw the Waterloo and City Line open.  Not once.  It was always under refurbishment or down.  It is pretty much an express tram from Waterloo Station to Bank Station, enabling commuters to get to the City as quickly as possible. Otherwise, that trip would be a bit unbearable, having to go through eight stops and one or two changes.

Later on, I’ll talk about the Crossrail Projects, National Rail and the London Overground – all of which are generating a ton of infrastructure work in the current days especially as the time of the Olympics grows nearer.

Mind the gap!

The Campaign for Real Beer

I am going to preface this entry with the fact that I am a bit of a beer snob.  When I was in college,  I never really drank beer until after my 22nd birthday.  I just was not a big fan of it. It was because of my friend Iggy that I started drinking beer and it it all started with Watney’s Red Barrel, a pale lager that was put out by Sleeman Brewery from Canada in the early to mid 90’s.  It was rather sweet and a bit unexpectedly refreshing, where the other beer I remember from keg parties or growing up was crap like Natural Light or Busch, which looked like urine, smelled like urine and pretty much tasted like I imagined urine would taste.

From there I branched out to Newcastle Brown Ale, other ales and stouts and ciders, such as Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Samuel Smith and Guinness.  So, I have actually looked forward to living in England for that reason.  I also like wine and spirits a lot, but, I never get totally wasted or pissed when I drink beer as I usually get too full before that happens.  Anyway, I digress.

I talked earlier on this blog about the fresh ale pub that my friend David and I visited when walking about London two weekends ago.  There is a consumer advocacy group here called CAMRA, which runs the Campaign for Real Ale.  Forty years ago this year, the organization was founded to protect consumers from the overcommercialization and vertical integration of the large breweries invading every pub in England, which had the potential to completely eliminate traditional and craft beers, ales and ciders from the market.  Historically, small breweries would partner with local pubs in their towns to ensure there was fresh beer, locally brewed and at the peak of freshness.  It was the sign of a well run local pub when there was community involvement from the brewer in the neighborhood.

Most pubs do have a hand pumped ale or bitter on tap now, thanks to the efforts of this group.  Most of them are cask-conditioned, some are unpasteurized and lots of them have a much higher alcohol content than the Stella Artois’ and Carling’s of the world.  In a sense, it is very similar to the microbrewery trend in the states, even though none of the beers are brewed onsite like the brewpub concept in the States.

Most times I go out, I do try to sample these local beers, to keep ensuring their production continues.  Not that there is anything wrong with a nice Ice Cold Lager.  In most case, British beer is served warm, but, thanks to the pressure of American and other expatriates, most pubs offer an Extra Cold option for staples like Guinness, Stella Artois and Carling.  Otherwise, the temparature takes a while to get used to.  If you don’t drink your beer quickly, it will get warm.  As in room temperature warm.  Guaranteed.  Frankly, the ales and stouts taste better at that temperature.  Both of them are pretty tannic and the colder they are, the more bitter they taste.

Also, British Round culture is staggering.  It is a binge drinking culture that requires you to keep pace with everyone else in your party.  If there are eight of you, you buy eight beers or ones for whoever is ready.  And, that continues throughout the night.  In some cases, I have not drank that much beer since right after college when I was trying to keep up with my significantly larger roommates.  It is not for the faint of heart or liver for that matter, but, rugby may have trained me for this, no?

The Children’s Hour

One of the things that I was the most excited about moving to London is the absolutely buzzing West End theatre scene, which is even more accessible than Broadway in New York.  In NYC, the shows that get the most attention are the over the top musicals like Promises, Promises, In the Heights and Million Dollar Quartet.  London has splashy musicals in big theatres too, however, it seems (and this may be my own perception) that many more large name dramatic stars perform in dramas here in London.

One of the first ones that I noticed that was advertised all over London, in the tube stations, at the airport and just about town was The Children’s Hour by Lillian Hellman. For those of you that do not know much about the play, it was a pretty controversial drama about two teachers who owned a New England bo who were accused of being lovers by an emotionally unsettled girl and the impact from the gossip and classism that came from the lie.  It still amazes me that Lillian Hellman was 29 years old when this was published as the writing and vitriol is so sophisticated, though she was mentored by her on and off lover, Dashiell Hammett.

The play is currently at the Comedy Theatre here in London with a star studded cast: Kiera Knightley, Elisabeth Moss, Ellen Burstyn and Carol Kane.  If that was not enough, I stopped by the theatre to see if I could get same day tickets for 15GBP.  They had a second row balcony seat, with an unobstructed view in a theatre that seats maybe 400.

The performances were absolutely sublime.  Though I would watch Elisabeth Moss and Ellen Burstyn read the phonebook, the dialogue that Hellman wrote is absolutely riveting.  Ellen Burstyn gives me goosebumps in every role she plays; and, seeing her live puts her Academy Award and five other nominations into complete perspective.  She is absolutely compelling in this play, in an unapologetically grim role.   She commands the attention and brings the classism subplot to the fore through her portrayal of a wealthy New England matriarch.

Elisabeth Moss was type cast a bit as Martha, though her nuanced performance of a woman completely unaware of the feelings that she carried nails the impact of the series of events that wrecked three lives.  When she delivers the line about the lie being the only one with a “little ounce of truth”, you realize the pure depths of the psychological trauma that the events caused.  While her character has a complete enlightenment by the end of the play, she cannot cope.  And Ms. Moss shows the vulnerability and inevitability of her actions and reactions, even down to the last minutes of the play.

The overwhelming surprise to me was Kiera Knightley.  Though I loved her in Bend it Like Beckham and Atonement, I never really saw the depth of her talent until this performance.  She completely channelled Katherine Hepburn in this role, as she is about the same size and her Connecticut accent was impeccable.  She reminded me of KH’s performance in Stage Door, critically acclaimed, but not very popular.  Her character loses everything in this play, and Ms. Knightley nails the death of her spirit and the tragedy of the ending brilliantly.

I’m absolutely thrilled that on a random Thursday that I could spend the evening doing this as opposed to watching Tool Academy UK.

Grade – A

 

Customer Service part two – SkyTv and Orange Home phone

Once upon a time, there was an expat who moved to London. After his banking customer experience, he had lost all hope in the ability to have anything process oriented happen here in London without a ton of red tape, complications, miscommunication and just plain lack of attention to detail. Then the wonderful John Lewis entered his life and it was like the skies parted and the sun shone like it never had before.  And he lived happily ever after…..

If only the story ended there…

SkyTV is the largest TV provider here in London, it’s like Direct TV or Dish TV on steroids, owned by Sir Rupert Murdoch of the evil Fox and BSKYB empires. They are the necessary evil for great HD programming.  There’s also Virgin Media – which is cable, FreeSat and FreeView which are also ways of receiving programming, neither of which are truly free and all require a box and verification to be activated.

The list of channels is amazing and they make it actually cost effective to have more channel packs than not, including the sports stuff to watch football or rugby, movie channels coming out your eyeballs and enough terrible reality TV shows to make your hair stand on end – including the sensational My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Tool Academy UK, and yes, Jersey Shore.  When I was in my temporary place, I was finding myself mesmerized by all of these.  Of course, your American favorites are here too, like Grey’s Anatomy, Cougar Town, How I Met Your Mother and CSI: Miami – which ironically, is the highest rated television show outside of the US.

But I digress….

Lovely John Lewis delivered all of my things on Tuesday with no problems, to the point of in and out in minutes, while providing everything with a smile.  I had my obscenely large 50″ TV delivered on Tuesday as well, and had taken Wednesday off of work to meet the engineer from Sky, well, not really Sky, a contractor of Sky.  I wake up bright and early on Wednesday morning to greet the installer, as they told me he would be there between 7am and 1pm.  I haven’t heard a confirmation call by 9am, so I call to ask for the confirmation.  The new person tells me that they will be there between 12pm and 7pm and not to worry.  I think it is odd that I haven’t heard from anyone by 130pm, so, I call again.  Mind you, there’s no food in my house as I haven’t had time to grocery shop.  Nor is there any internet connectivity, so, I cannot work from home.  I dash out to this overpriced Serbian deli that’s right around the corner and grab three empanadas and a Coke Zero, rushing back, just in case I miss them.

Four more hours of waiting go by and I am really concerned.  I call and I’m connected to a nice Geordie boy named Kevin who sounds a bit like he’s thirteen, and he’s amazingly happy to help and then says “Hang on. That’s odd.” Anytime a customer service rep says “That’s odd”, it is never, ever good. Kevin then tells me that the engineer had called in at noon and said that I already had Sky and that the ticket was closed.  He puts me on hold and calls the engineer and then tells me to call back in 30 minutes if the engineer hasn’t called back.  I then proceed to call back every half hour and find that the engineer has not called either him or me back.  This goes on for four hours.  I ask to be connected to a manager and they have gone home for the day, and the manager is supposed to return my call in the morning.

I’m pretty livid, since I took the day off work to have this happen, I had no internet, expensive food and no shower by 8pm. Very grumpy Jeff.

The next morning, I call immediately at 8am and speak to a lovely woman named Danielle who reads the voluminous case notes, and she says, I’ll connect you to the manager right away.  The manager’s number is busy, but Danielle agrees to have the manager call me, and decides to email her as well copying me.  I say, that’s lovely.  Then, Danielle asks me “What’s your contact information?”
I give it to her and she says “That’s odd.”

Again with the “That’s odd.”

Danielle says “That’s not the number that we have for you, let me get your real contact information and I will have Mel, the manager call you right away.”

The wrong number.  They have the wrong number.

I get Danielle’s email, and Mel calls me within the hour.  She is an absolutely lovely woman, bubbly in personality and perfect for her customer service manager job. She apologises profusely and says “I cannot believe that you called ELEVEN times and not one person until this morning asked to confirm your phone details. I have made heads roll in my department, and I’m sorry this had to happen to you. Mike, my best engineer will be out first thing tomorrow morning at 930am and here’s his mobile number just in case. ” She also offered three pay per view movies on my account, which I can use at any time.

This morning, Mike was right on time at 930, set up the box, authorised the service and then spent ten minutes teaching me all of the features of the insanely complicated remote control.  He was absolutely great and was gone within twenty minutes. While this had the potential to be really terrible, it was an amazing experience, all in all.

Orange Broadband has been interesting as well.  The lead time for a new install for a phone line and broadband is a 25 day window.
That’s right. A 25 day Service Level Agreement to turn on an existing line, send broadband equipment, give you the actual landline, and activate the service.  We are right now in day 17. On Monday, I should receive my broadband equipment which will be able to be activated that day. The phoneline will be active on the following Tuesday, even though the voicemail is active, I have the number, but there’s no dial tone.

In this case, I’m being pretty zen about it, I just end up going out and doing interesting things with interesting people on the nights that I would normally be at home watching My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding in my underwear, eating mint Aero chocolate and drinking a nice Cotes de Provence rose.

Maybe this blip in connectivity isn’t a bad thing.

Customer Service in Retail

Customer service in London is absolutely deplorable.  Having been in customer services roles for most of my career, I know a little bit about this topic.  Service is not hard.  As my friend Rachel says (both about service and in life), “People either get it or they don’t. There’s no in-between.” As my story with the bank details, it often takes herculean efforts to get anything done either inside or outside of an existing process.

BTW, mind you, the bank account issue finally closed on Friday – almost a month after initially trying to open an account. However, I have been denied credit EVERYWHERE as I have no credit history in the UK. An American college student would have a better chance of opening a Visa card than me. The mobile phone company for a 10GBP monthly subscription said no to a yearlong contract for a mobile broadband SIM card, even though I could have prepaid for it with the cash in my pocket.  Ludicrous, but I digress.

The stories of bad customer service abound here in this country.  Even my manager at work had an issue over the weekend related to returning a faulty appliance to a discount store.  In a nutshell, he went in without the receipt, but with his credit card statement and the reference number.  The woman was outright rude to him and went so far as to quote the Sale of Goods Act of 1979 that dictates return policies here in the UK.  He then drove to another location for this company ten miles away, and they did the return with no issue. If only it ended here.  He drove back to the original location, queued up for the same woman, and proceeded to tell her how terrible her service was and that her lack of understanding of the companies processes and the law made him have to waste an extra hour of his day to get the right thing done.  He asked to speak to the manager, and she said she was the customer service manager.  REALLY?

After that, he said, “I want to speak to the store manager.” She told him that he wasn’t there, and that he would have to come back at another time.  Then, another manager overheard the conversation and said, “I am the store manager.” My manager replied, “funny, she just told me that you weren’t even here.” He looked at the original woman and said, “Do you often lie directly to your customers, or is that just something you do when you’re wrong?” The store manager quietly pulled him aside to talk and my manager walked away with a discount for the next time that he shops in the store. The funny thing here is that this is often the norm, not the exception.  So much so that it has become a topic in our team meetings.

The pleasant thing is that there is a definite exception to the rule here: John Lewis.  John Lewis is a mid to high range department store with a food hall like most of the other major department stores here in London.  For you Americans, imagine Nordstrom, with certain things that are the price of JcPenney.  Affordable luxury with higher value on service for which a customer like me is willing to pay.  They also own Waitrose, a higher end grocery store, with a larger specialty selection of groceries than your Tesco or Sainsburys.  It’s similar to Whole Foods, in a sense, without the faux granola feel.

My John Lewis experience has been nothing but pleasant.  Sellers in their shops who are knowledgable with no high pressure sales.  People who say hello, are genuinely concerned with your experience as well as fulfilling your needs.  I went to three different John Lewis stores to test out mattresses and ogle TV’s.  In EVERY situation, I was greeted in each department and the person stayed with me to ensure that I had all of my questions answered.  However, they left me alone enough to make my own decisions in a hands-on sort of manner.  I told them that I was most likely going to place my order online, and they printed out the exact things at which I was looking for me to make a decision on my time. And, they price match, offer a longer warranty and deliver for free over a certain amount.

It does not stop there.  Their customer service representatives on the phone for the delivery and order were genuine, friendly, genial and extremely thorough.  I placed two separate orders and my flat mate placed one.  Originally, we had three different delivery times.  But, the person who called me this morning to confirm delivery noticed the three orders to the same place and made sure that the orders were going to come on the same truck a the same time.

The overall selection, service and experience has been top notch and I will continue to shop there and at Waitrose again and again.